This is part 2 of a series on bad advice, where they come from, and their consequences. Part 1 deals with the racket of ideas which surrounds us, part 2 here focuses on the racket of self-help, and Part 3 deals with the deep anger which comes from following bad advice.
The advice that surrounds us is mediocre at best, and oftentimes terrible, because the feedback loop that would lead to great advice is life itself, which takes a lot of time to seep into someone's awareness, especially in our unconscious times where people constantly run away from pain, difficulties, uncertainty, and of course, death.
On the other hand, the type of advice that is popular is typically what allows people to augment their self, to make their emotions more manageable, their mind more focused, their will more united, and their body more relaxed. All of those are good things of course, but by themselves, they are empty, because the self which is being added to is ultimately not interested in other people, or in general, a selfless participation in Reality, but it is only interested in its own self-perpetuation.
Writing concerned with this type of advice is called self-help, which has become increasingly prevalent in our times as people are confronted with major dysfunctions in their life. They find that they cannot do the tasks assigned to them by school or their workplace, that they are constantly tired, anxious, worried about the future, that their relationships are a mess, that they are unhappy, and that they do not find their life very meaningful.
Few writers tend to point this out, but by and large the people reading self-help are desperate for some type of change that could make them more functional, and the increasing popularity in self-help is a reflection of a world which is becoming more and more difficult to fit into. People don't just read on how to make more money, or remove bad habits from their life, but they also read on how to stay focused on something, how to manage their time, how to worry less, how to do tasks they do not enjoy, and even how to make friends.
All of this is a lot better than giving up of course, and there is good advice within those books, but my problem has to do with the implicit worldview that runs underneath all the advice. The implied promise of self-help is that all of the main problems that one encounters in life can be solved through addition, through focus, discipline, meditation, exercising, and so on, all of which are very valuable of course, but again, by themselves, they only add protection to a self which is, by itself, ultimately alienated, existentially afraid, obsessed with control and its survival, and mortal.
In practice, this endeavor of self-addition does not solve the major problems that it faces, it only pushes the fundamental problems away, which is why self-help writers often say that a better life is simply one with better problems. There is some truth to this of course, expecting a life without problems is a typical fantasy of naive people, but what this ignores is the gaping hole in people's lives where conscious qualities should be found.
It is one thing to have relationship problems, which are inevitable and can be dealt with like mature adults, it is another thing to be loveless and try to control how your interactions go through methods and ideas, and find solace in a "safe marriage" which is really just a betrayal of love, built on compromises and fear.
It is one thing to be worried, and concerned about death, which is natural, as our body and mind obviously have self-preservation instincts. It is another thing altogether to be existentially afraid, to want to push death and its smaller forms, such as uncertainty and pain, away from our lives at all costs, and try to build a world which attempts, in vain, to eradicate death.
The unconscious ego uses self-help as a way to avoid facing itself, and comforts itself in the idea that it is simply interested in incremental improvements, not trying to remove its problems altogether. But in doing so, it never comes in direct contact with love, death, freedom, joy, peace, and all the conscious qualities at the root of our experience and which people, despite what they say, want in their lives.
Self-help readers will present themselves as humble and pragmatic people, who are not trying to solve deep philosophical or existential problems which deal with suffering, alienation and the human condition, but they are simply interested in being more functional, that's all. There is some value in this, but their humility is really a masquerade for fear, as is often the case. They do not want to face their false self, they do not want to open up their heart to genuine love, they do not want to be radically free, instead preferring the comfort of the constant to-do list which tells them what to do, and they do not want to welcome Life in its totality, instead preferring to retreats to methods, which includes meditation, and the safety of their comfortable life which automatically pushes uncertainty before it could ever reach them.
This attachment to methods and obsessive self-improvement is very reminiscent of the way that our world has become obsessed with creating machines which can perform tasks for us, and then constantly maintain and upgrade those machines, in a continual process of technological progress. It would be stupid to not use tools in our lives, which is why no sensible person would reject technology as a whole.
But the focus on machines specifically is something else entirely, because it becomes its own end, which is problematic in the same way that someone obsessed with lifting more and more weights just for the sake of it becomes lopsided in their own life. Tools are valuable to the extent that they help us accomplish tasks more efficiently, but they stop becoming valuable when the wielder is no longer in control, not just of the tool which has become an autonomous machine, but deeper than that, of their mind and attention which have become selfish, and become obsessed with technology for its own sake.
A deep problem with self-help is that it comes from a state of being which is fundamentally alienated, and treats oneself, and consequently Reality, as a mechanical "thing" to diagnose, manage and then upgrade. This relationship to oneself is not something which self-help can address, because self-help comes from a self only concerned with preserving itself, which means that the process of self-commodification never stops, it simply becomes more efficient.
The end state of reading self-help is not one of genuine peace in one's life, love for other people, playful curiosity and mature acceptance of one's death, rather it is mere obsession. Perhaps you have seen a person in your life, or even yourself, throw themselves at an endless series of books, methods and systems, as if any of them could somehow "fix" them, as if they didn't read or practice enough to reach a state which could bring everything they might want.
There is no "fixing" because the "brokenness" comes from an alienated ego which is ultimately illusory. This doesn't mean that the self doesn't exist, it certainly does, or that it isn't useful, it is prodigiously useful and it is valuable to learn to use it well. What it simply means is that self is a great tool when it is in service of something greater than itself, if not some collective, then at least the conscious I, but when it turns onto itself and becomes egoic, then it creates a fundamental split which it cannot ever solve, no matter how hard-working or clever it is.
Self-help ultimately bolsters the self in a way which can never solve the fundamental problems that people turn to it for. This makes for a good business, because there is no better market for profit-driven people than one with unlimited and hard to define needs, but this doesn't lead to healthy, loving and mature people. In practice it leads to a world of managers, whether professionally or in their own life, for self-help could perhaps better be described as self-management.
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Selfhelp Racket Alienation Escapism Advice
2025-11-25